Uses for a Dog
by Tuz Farkinca
Summary: Jasper discovers the advantages of having a shopping partner with forty-four chromosomes.
1. Chapter 1

Jasper discovers the advantages of having a werewolf shopping partner

**Summary: Jasper discovers the advantages of having a shopping partner with forty-four chromosomes. Some** _**Breaking Dawn**_** Spoilers, so beware.**

Jasper swallowed his nerves as he prowled through the house- it wouldn't do to make everyone anxious. He was looking for one person in particular.

He passed Esme in the kitchen, baking some cookies for a church bake sale. Carlisle was with her, reading a book on his day off. Emmett and Rosalie seemed to be having fun upstairs…but he tried to push that out of his mind. Good thing Bella and Edward had their own place- if they still lived here, the lust level would be intolerable. Alice might be a vampire, but even she had her limits-

Alice. She was what this was all about. Making his savoir, the light in his life, happy.

After sweeping the whole house, Jasper was forced to conclude that Jacob was not in the building. He could have told himself that by sensing emotions and scents, but he had refused to go with that. Seeing is believing.

This complicated things.

He ran into the garage and hopped into Bella's Ferrari. She never used it- it seemed a shame to let it become vintage without driving it first. Over a year, and not a single mile on it.

He pulled out, focusing on going to meet a werewolf- err, shape-shifter. He hoped his future blanked out.

The Cullens had moved into a new house, even further out in the middle of nowhere. This way, Bella could still see Charlie, Bella and Edward could still live in their cottage, Jacob could still be with both Renesme and his pack, and they could all still pretend Bella and Edward were at college.

Even though La Push was further away than ever, Jasper kept his foot on the gas and he made it there in record time. He slowed down and drove around, trying to figure which house was the Black Residence.

There. The one that smelled most strongly of Jacob. He had the most familiar scent out of all the wolves, as he spent the most time around the Cullens.

Jasper parked carefully in the driveway and got out. He sent a few calming waves into the house, just incase Paul was there. Being attacked wouldn't do him much good.

He knocked on the door. However, Jasper had forgotten a very vital fact. He had grown used to the new doors the Cullens had put in- sturdy doors made with reinforced steel. Doors meant to withstand vampire knocking to a certain degree.

This door was not vampire proof. Jasper knocked in what he thought was a gentle fashion, and ended up punching a hole right through.

"Sorry!" he called out. Then, he took the door handle and carefully let himself in, making sure not to crush anything else.

Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Embry were all standing up, looking at him and the door.

"Hey Jasper! Couldn't you just knock though?" said Seth.

Jasper shuffled his feet and look at the floor. "That _was_ knocking…"

"So, what brings you to La Push?" asked Embry.

"I just needed to talk to Jacob. Alone would be preferable."

"But it's our movie day…we're watching _Dracula_." Leah's lips curled up into a smirk as she spoke.

Jacob shook his head. "It was more of a movie night …you guys were snoring anyways. Good thing I took a nap while you watched that chick flick Leah picked."

"You slept though that? And I thought you were just caught up in the story!"

"Yeah, with his eyes closed…"

After a few more grumbles and playful punches, Leah, Seth, and Embry left for their respective houses.

"So, how is Billy enjoying you being home?"

Jacob shrugged. "He says he wishes I stayed home more…but he likes how low his grocery bills have become since Rachel and Pal moved out. Anyways, what brings you out here? I was thinking you'd go to Seattle with Renesme and Alice."

"That's what brings me here. Jacob, I need you-" the blonde vampire started.

"WHAT? Jasper, that's flattering, but I've imprinted. On your niece. And I thought you were with Alice…"

Jasper ground his teeth. "Jacob, I don't mean like that. I need you because you'll hide me from Alice's visions. I need you to go shopping with me."

"…You lost me."

"You probably know that tonight is the 60th anniversary of when Alice and I first met. We agreed to no presents this year- she always sees what I buy her, and Edward usually tells me what she bought. But today, she took Bella out to buy a dress for the party we're having."

"I stayed home, but soon after she left, I realized this might be my chance to really surprise her this year. It was a split minute decision. Pack relationships are better than ever-if I take a wolf with me, she'll have no idea what I'm buying her."

Jacob shook his head. "But...why me? You could have taken Nessie." He said the name like it was sacred.

Jasper shrugged. "Nessie's reading Shakespeare with Edward today. You've already tried to be there, and he refused, so the odds were small that I would get her."

Jacob sighed and narrowed his eyes. "What's in this for me?"

"The warm fuzzy feeling of helping me."

"You could give that to me right now if you wanted."

"True. Instead, I'll help you with getting Edward to let you take Nessie to the beach."

Jacob furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. "Wait, how did you know about that?"

Jasper sighed, the memory painful. "Both of you ended up yelling, and the emotions rolling off weren't very happy. More like you each wanted to rip the other's throat out."

Jacob shrugged. "I don't think that's quite enough…after all, I'll have to follow you around, and your wife will most likely be angry."

"You get to ride shotgun in the Ferrari. Maybe drive it a bit."

"Deal."

**This is going to be a short story…most likely three chapters. I just got the idea and it wouldn't leave me alone. **

**Snippet from the next chapter:**

"…_Sir, why is there a smashed toaster on our wall?"_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any recognizable elements of it…unless you can win it at a carnival game

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any recognizable elements of it…unless you can win it at a carnival game. I'm good at those.**

"Hey, what about this toaster?" Jacob walked towards Jasper- who was looking at jewelry- holding the shiny silver appliance in his hands. Without even sparing it a glance, Jasper answered.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you about the espresso machine, the waffle maker, and the egg poacher. I'm not buying it if she can't use it.

"Of course she can use it! She can help Esme make me breakfast with it." Jacob studied the label stuck on the toaster. "Oh, look. It can hold ten pieces of toast at once…"

Jasper growled. "What about those earrings?" He pointed at a set of pretty dangler earrings- a string of hearts with a small diamond globe at the end.

Jacob looked at them and shrugged. "They're okay. A bit repetitive- you both shine like diamonds. This toaster would be way cooler."

The couple arguing a few rows did not help the matter. With their anger and his merging, Jasper grabbed the toaster, crumpled it, and threw it at the nearest wall.

The shocked jewelry clerk looked at Jasper, her eyes wide. "…Sir, why is there a smashed toaster on our wall?"

Swearing under his breath, Jasper emitted a feeling of tiredness at the poor woman. She smiled, muttered something incomprehensible, and folded over onto the floor, asleep.

--

"Good job, dog," Jasper hissed as they hurried out of the store. For the fifth store in a row, he'd had to steal the security tapes and make a hasty exit. He was starting to regret taking Jacob along, but Alice would have seen the blur where he was supposed to be by now. There was no way he was going back without a present.

And he was Jasper Whitlock Hale, vampire extraordinaire. Surely he could control an annoying shape shifter and buy a present at the same time, no?

Maybe not.

The next store Jasper stopped at was a grocery store. He parked, flipped open his wallet, and pulled out a fifty, handing it to the sulking Jacob. "Go buy yourself something, I can hear your stomach grumbling."

Jacob took the money. "You want me to ask if they have any vials of blood?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Just get out of this car, and come back with food."

As soon as Jacob had disappeared into the store, Jasper started up the Ferrari, taking solace in the sound of its engine. He hoped Alice wouldn't see him now…but that was a chance he had to take. Some Jacob-free time was sorely needed.

After half an hour, Jasper started to get fidgety. Where was his partner? He hadn't really ever gone grocery shopping, but he didn't think it should take this long. Especially as Jacob was only buying something small. Or supposed to be.

With a sigh, Jasper gathered himself and walked into the store.

As he walked in, scents assailed his nose. The cold tang of the AC, the smell of various foods in various stages from unripe to spoiling, raw to overcooked, and of course the overwhelming smell of humans. The overall setting was calm- most people were relaxed here. There were a few points were Jasper could feel anger- a fight of some kind. Probably over how much to spend.

He wandered around, marveling at how many foods there were these days. He could barely remember his human days, but there was much less- in both quantity and type.

He was looking at the amount of different types of apples when something hit him on the head.

Turning around, he quickly pinpointed the banana- for that's what it was- had come from around the corner. Also around the corner was a sudden hotspot of hostility and anger.

Grabbing some eggs from a nearby cooler, Jasper stuck his head slowly around the corner.

There was Jacob, stranded in a corner. He was alternately ducking behind a crate of plums and throwing bananas. Between him and freedom were five strongly built men in ripped jeans and hoodies.

Jasper couldn't help but wonder how this had happened. But, it was his job to get Jacob out of this. He took a firm hold on an egg, and threw it at the nearest man. He grabbed another and threw again, hitting another man.

By now, the group had realized they were being attacked from behind. Three turned around, and Jasper saw they were holding things much more deadly then fruit. Not only would it be hard to explain why they didn't hurt him, the weapons might hit some innocent bystander. Thinking fast, Jasper drove a sudden wave of nausea at them. They doubled over, retching.

Meanwhile, Jacob had gotten one of the other men in the face, and tripped the other one, reaching Jasper. Together, they ran for the exit- slightly faster than a human pace. Of course, Jasper had to snag the security tapes again.

Only when they were back in the Ferrari and a mile from the store did Jasper ask. "What the hell happened in there?"

Jacob shrugged. "I was just buying some food. I got four deli sandwiches, a bag of chips, a case of soda, some apples, a bag of pre-popped popcorn, a cucumber, a tomato, a pepper, a piece of cake from the bakery, a-"

Jasper cut him off. "I told you to just get what would fill you up."

Jacob pointed at himself. "Werewolf. I need lots of food."

Jasper sighed, trying not to emit cranky into the outside world. "Good thing we had to run- I just saved a lot of money. But anyway, how did end up cornered and throwing fruit?"

"See, I took the last bag of some generic gummy worms- and they freaked out and told me to give it to them. I said no, so they started stalking me through the store."

"Great. You got cornered by a _grocery store gang_."

Jacob slumped into the seat. "I guess so. Thanks for saving me Jasper- I thought I might have to phase to get out of there."

To Japer's surprise, Jacob was emitting sincerity. "Uh, no problem."

Suddenly, a high-pitched ringing filled the car. A cascade of piano notes immediately followed it.

Jumping, Jasper reached into his pocket and looked at the cell phone. It seemed he became even paler. "Alice," he whispered.

Jacob reached over, flipped the phone open, and quickly terminated the call. "You know, we might have to call it quits soon."

"Yeah," Jasper agreed sadly. His plans just weren't shaping up.

Then, a passing billboard caught his eye.

"Actually, one more stop. I think I finally know what to get."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any recognizable elements of it…unless you can win it at a carnival game

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any recognizable elements of it.**

**Sorry for the long wait! I kept getting more and more ideas, and typing them. And then forgetting about this. But, here it is. :)**

Jasper pulled the Ferrari into a small jewelry shop- the Silver Swan. It was an exclusive place with a reputation for beautiful, one-of-a-kind, extremely high-priced jewelry.

Before the two walked in, Jasper cast a critical eye over Jacob. "Okay, they respect me a lot here. So they shouldn't ask any questions about you- just keep your mouth shut, okay? This is my last chance."

Jacob nodded, locking his mouth and throwing away the imaginary key.

They entered the shop. It was a small, square room. Classic music played softly from hidden speakers. A cashier register occupied one corner. A door led to a room Jasper knew held security guards and incoming wares. Cases were scattered around in rows, each holding gleaming pieces of art.

The man working the place smiled as the two came in. He emitted a happy vibe. "Ah, Sir Jasper. And…?"

"A close family friend, Jacob. He is here to help me."

"Ah, well take your time. Tell me if you need any help."

The shape shifter and the vampire, mortal enemies, shopping for jewelry.

The two looked at the various pieces displayed. The more and more they looked, the more frustrated Jasper became- nothing was good enough, his vampire sight picking out all the flaws in the jewelry.

"Good thing you're not in the pack, otherwise you'd have burst your clothes by now," muttered Jacob..

Then he saw it- a beautiful little case, built in an egg shape. It was silver, carved with artistic, whimsical swirls. A few amethyst accents sparkled.

"May I see that piece?" Jasper asked. The clerk smiled happily, and showed the egg off. It opened on small hinges- inside were tiny shelves and hooks to hold jewelry.

"I'll take it," the vampire said, not even paying attention to the price tag.

As soon as they were out of the shop, Jacob let a grimace twist his face. "Thank goodness that's over. That place smells dusty and awful and everything there is a rip-off."

"I don't think it's a rip-off, dog," Jasper replied.

"Well, I don't have centuries of time and a psychic to build up cash either."

Groaning, Jasper sent a few waves of extreme calm at Jacob.

"Stupid leech," Jacob said, trying and failing to grit his teeth.

On the way back to the house, Jasper made a few more stops and added a few things to the egg. A matching set of earrings, bracelet, and necklace, all silver and topaz. The deed to a plot of forest in Europe, complete with a nice little cottage with a huge closet. The final stop was to get it wrapped, complete with the shiny little bow so dear to human children. **(AN: And the author...I love those things!)**

Jacob glowered. "I hope you guys aren't spoiling Nessie like this. I'll never be able to spend so much."

Jasper spared a glance from the road to Jacob. "Hey, we're-" he gulped, and decided it was worth it- "family. We'll help you buy and save."

"That's twice today you've done or said something extremely nice to me. I think the world is going to end soon."

"It just might when I get home, unless I can shove the present into Alice's hands fast enough."

The two lapsed into silence, and soon they were near Forks. As the car approached the Cullen house, Jasper slowed down- he didn't want to get there _too_ fast.

Jacob peered at the dashboard. "I should take a picture, I don't think I'll ever see a vampire driving at ten miles an hour again."

Sighing, Jasper sped up. As soon as he turned off the road into the woods, he could feel the anger simmering in the house.

He stopped the car and walked to the door. Immediately, the door opened to show one angry little Alice. She was dressed in a beautiful green dress, with spaghetti straps and ruffles. He hair was curled, and her frowning lips were perfectly covered in lipstick. "WHERE were YOU?" she screamed. Even a human would have winced. "Your future suddenly disappeared, and on our anniversary! Do you have any idea what ran through my head, Jasper Whitlock Hale? I should abandon the plans I made, and if we were human you would be sleeping in the-"

Her tirade was cut off as Jasper placed the package containing the presents in her hand. Her frown deepened. "You couldn't have been planning this, I didn't see it." Her hands opened the box, exposing the egg, and she gasped. "It's beautiful!" She hugged Jasper tightly, and he helped her along by making her feel warm, happy, and fuzzy.

"I finally surprised you, Alice love," he murmured into her neck.

"You did," she said, looking at the contents of the egg. She slipped the bracelet onto her arm and gave it an admiring gaze. "I love you, Jazz. But how did you do it?"

Jacob stuck his head out of the car, checking to see if the coast was clear. In other words, wanting to see how badly Jasper got beat up by his wife.

Jasper smiled at him, then looked back at his wife. "All I needed was some help from my new friend. The ones that reeks and has forty-four chromosomes."


End file.
